Sunday Thoughts: Penciling in Selfishness or Self-Care?

Nov 7

Written By Stacey

I’m in the habit of spoiling myself lately.

It’s probably not the best habit I could have….and even though I’m not a therapist, I like to think it’s because it’s one of the only areas I feel I can control best these days. That’s because I’m a caregiver.

One of the best pieces of advice a caregiver can get is to practice self-care…and I wish I could say that I’ve been good at that over the years. However, my doctor’s visits have become non-existent and finding time to myself is very rare these days. 😬

Still, this past weekend, I took the time to attend a faith-based, women’s conference called Woman Evolve 2021 as an online guest. I attended the conference as best I could given the fact that I was still caregiving at the time.

What I came away with was a sense that I was not alone after hearing some of the testimonies of the attendees. I also learned about a few tools they use to manage the stress of life.

And as a bonus, I also walked away with this quote (see the first photo of this post) by a woman named Gloria Goins.

Ms. Goins shared her testimony of having a daughter with extremely challenging health issues as well and the things she practiced to manage herself while caring for her daughter. For instance, she talked about rising early to spend time in prayer before going about her day with her family’s needs. Since she also happens to be doing this as a CEO at Amazon, I felt she was pretty well qualified to share her expertise in this area. And while I didn’t do the #TogetherWithAmazon selfie that was requested at the conference, I figured posting this sketch would suffice.

I have to admit, rising earlier than I already do will be a challenge for me. I’m a creative and I’m more likely to stay up late than get up early if left to my own devices. But, as a teacher, I get up very early as it is. Still, I’m willing to try it. I had already started journaling again (think Julia Cameron’s “Morning Pages”, leaving the term “morning” heavily up to my own interpretation), which I tend to think of as prayer. They were already helping me to alleviate some tension. I guess I can make them a little earlier in my day and see if that works out even better!

That said, while I’m sure this was not the kind of self-care she was talking about, I’m still willing to buy myself a few gifts from time to time too!

I’ve dumped a box of these Blackwing pencils and their sharpeners into multiple online shopping carts for ages. I’ve also deleted them just as many times. I finally bit the bullet this last week after feeling particularly worn out with caregiving.

It took a long time to decide to get them because, one, I do love my Pentel mechanical pencil…and, two, they’re pretty expensive! But, I was curious about whether they’d live up to the hype that surrounds them.

I have to say, they are very nice to draw with…But, whether they are better than any other pencil depends on how you work and what you’re looking for, of course.

For instance, the best thing about a typical mechanical pencil is that it never has to be sharpened (a quality which lends well to technical drawings), whereas a wood-encased pencil will need sharpening every once in a while depending on the softness of the lead. On the other hand, it’s easier to get a variety of marks from wooden-encased pencils versus the typical mechanical pencils since the points can be sculpted using a utility knife and they can be blunt, sharp or somewhere in between (lines can have much more character).

As for the Blackwings, they are lighter in weight which can prevent hand fatique after awhile. They also have larger, replaceable erasers which is a great point in and of itself versus the mechanical pencil I usually use. Last, but not least, they will also not easily scratch through a sheet of Tomoe River paper like my mechanical pencil has done on occasion.

So will they replace my Pentels? Not likely. I still enjoy the fact that I don’t have to sharpen my pencil. Besides that, the weight of the Pentel feels nice in my hand and the grip feels nice to hold without leaving a callous on the edge of my middle finger. But I’ll add the Blackwings to the everyday carry, for sure.

As you can see, the drawing doesn’t change by much. I’m just a sketching kind of person. Clean lines will likely always elude me, regardless of what tool I use.

So will they replace my Pentels? Not likely. I still enjoy the fact that I don’t have to sharpen my mechanical pencil. Besides that, the weight of the Pentel feels nice in my hand and the grip feels nice to hold without leaving a callous on the edge of my finger. But I’ll add the Blackwings to the everyday carry, for sure. When I do, I’ll have to be sure to have a sharpener along with me. The Blackwings have two versions within their brand lineup. One sharpener has two steps (shown on the left below). The other sharpener is a one-step pencil sharpener (on the right below).

They’re both fairly large sharpeners and seem to be made of quality materials. They should last a long time even with how I bang things around.

I find there is a slight difference in how they produce a sharp tip since the one-step sharpener seems to have a slightly more tapered tip. See the photo below where the tip on the pencil that rests above the other seems slightly more tapered? I found that interesting.

Now, if the Blackwings had helped me produce the lettering faster, I might have leaned more toward them. Caregiving doesn’t lend itself to loads of drawing time. But, this sketch took about the same amount of time as my Pentel does, even with stopping to sharpen the tip every so often…