Is it too late to say, “Happy New Year??”

Although this post has been in the making for weeks now, it has taken a minute to get myself to settle down to actually put it together.

I honestly wanted to post something a bit more light-hearted. But, sometimes the side of me that used to serve as part youth advisor/part motivational speaker for young women just claims her space and there’s just no shutting that woman up.

With that being said…

As our educational staff gathered together for our first meeting of the new year, our Head of School asked us, “What is your word for the year?”

Our Head of School is a former art teacher and I believe she and I share similar thoughts around staying inspired, exercising our minds and creativity.

The one way we differ is, though I’m actually okay at public speaking, I’m not in a season of my life where I have to do it often. Well, aside from the fact that I regularly teach young people.

In fact, in our meetings, most times, I remain silent unless directly called upon. So…on this day, I hadn’t intended to do anything any differently. But, as I sat in the uncomfortable silence, weirdly cementing my suspicions that maybe setting an intention, a goal or even a word for the year is uncommon these days, I decided to raise my hand and I shared that my word was ‘building’.

building
1. a structure with a roof and walls, such as a house, school, store, or factory.
2. the process or business of constructing something.

While I intend to use that word across each area of my life, for the purpose of my small business, my overarching goals for the year are to:

build one new business offering,
form and build at least one new business relationship, and
build on the relationships I formed in 2022 and 2023...

…all for the continued, mutually-beneficial success of all those I collaborate and/or partner with.

Of course, there are actions that I need to take to do this and numbers associated with this goal that will help me measure whether my actions are effective. But, in a nutshell, there it is.

Has it become wildly unpopular anymore to formally set personal goals?

And, to be honest, if it has, I feel that. A year could definitely not go as planned.

Maybe it’s the fact that we have enough pressures from the current pace of life to dissuade us from wanting to add one more thing to upset our apple carts. Add to that the knowledge that it would be a self-imposed pressure, and it sounds borderline masochistic!

Weariness is real. And if you need a break, take one.

But, while I’m no therapist, I’m about 99.9% certain the unpopularity of setting goals is like a trauma response to the last time we failed at something. Rather than set another and possibly fail again, it’s easier to just label them as ‘unrealistic.’ Underneath that is the actuality that we let ourselves down the last time we tried and that kind of ‘L’ is tough to take.

Further, if it has happened often enough, it just gets hard to be told , ‘no.’ It begins to feel like no matter what we do, the universe permanently rejects our efforts. Been there, felt that.

It’s an understandable dilemma. But, over time, not taking steps toward something we want causes our dream-birthing muscles to simply grow too lax. And drowning in self-pity isn’t the way to rebuild them. In fact, it’s destined to hold you back.

The Number One Reason to Start Goal-Setting Again Even After Taking an ‘L’

Here’s a myth-buster for you that I’m sure you’ve heard before: Failure is your friend.

Fails get you closer to your goal by showing you what not to do. That’s pretty valuable data for any goal-getter.

And there’s a strong case for setting wildly, obnoxious, ‘unrealistic’ goals anyway.

Why You Should Set Obnoxious Goals

First, if you set your goals for nothing, you have 100% chance of achieving just that…Nada.

Similarly, if you set your goals too low, you are not creating any muscle power to achieve what you really want.

I once heard something to the effect of, “The enemy of best is just good enough.” If I had a dime for every time a student slapped a two-day project together in two minutes and then asked me, “Is this good enough?” What I always want to say is, “YOU are good enough. But this attempt needs to go back to the drawing board until IT’S good enough.”

As a youth, I would watch a program called Video Soul where the host, Donnie Simpson would end each show with a quote I’ve never forgotten.

“Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you’ll be among the stars.”

OMG. Do you remember this? 👆🏾

Even if you were to stretch your bestest toward a goal that you came to find out was just outside of your grasp, wherever you land will be closer to your goal than you were before. Not to mention, you’ll be much stronger for the rest of the journey.

And, if that wasn’t enough to convince you, I’ve come to learn that when it seems like the doors keep closing around you, it has nothing to do with you anyway. It’s most likely that the dream isn’t big enough or you’re just knocking on the wrong doors. Make the adjustment and move on. 🤷🏾‍♀️

One Caveat

This is only for those who are willing to put in the work.

I think we have all learned that the, “If you build it, they will come.” quote doesn’t work in the global economy we have today. There actually is a lot of competition in a global market and you actually do have to put effort in to showing up as your best self. There’s no getting around that part.

But, don’t fret. There’s also a lot of need and you are definitely someone’s answer. Find your people!

Remember, daring to believe in something also necessitates that you believe enough to take steps toward it. ☝🏾

Conclusion & One To Grow On

Truth be told…Goals are wonderful tools for keeping the things we desire to achieve top of mind. They can keep us engaged with our lives, giving us the chance for an adventure and not allowing us to simply keep a hamster wheel in working order. They keep us putting one foot in front of the other, building the life we desire and not just one handed to us.

Last but not least, they help build us.

A few years ago, I got really into planning. I had post-it darts, motivational stickers, and all the accessories. And it helped a lot for that season of my life to stay organized and to keep my spirits up in the midst of a whirlwind of things to do. As a teacher, I’ve had to pair a lot of that down given the fact that I don’t have hours to spend on my planner anymore. I write what I need and move on.

But, during that time, I would choose the top three things I wanted to get done every day. These days, spending the majority of my days in one building, it’s a little different. I hope to get one thing done before the final bell rings. 🥴 But, back then, that list gave me such a sense of achievement. To know that I could get things done was a drug like no other! And I think that’s the part that I missed before…

Yes, getting things done is great. But, the realization that you have the power within you to create change in your life is better.

Goals Are Not Just For The Getting

If it is one thing I have learned in the past few years, it’s that goals are not just for the getting…they are for the growing. And not just growing more goals. But growing us…in the stretching…in the breaking out of our comfort zones…in the dreaming of our highest dreams…in the creating of the power it takes to change our life and the lives of those around us.

Because regardless of how many fails you’ve had, the truth remains that if you are willing to take the steps, you are powerful, more than adequate, and perfectly capable of reaching any goal.

So, if you have been discouraged from choosing your word for 2024, or setting your intention, or you haven’t even thought up one goal for the new year, in the words of one of my 90’s faves,

“Dust yourself off and try again.”
~Aaliyah

Some Closing Quotes

Here is an unconventional list of quotes to welcome 2024 with…

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
~Henry David Thoreau

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
~Thomas A. Edison

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
~ Booker T. Washington

And my personal, practical favorite…